Mindful

After 15 years in the world of corporate communications (a job I loved, that used to energise me), I found myself feeling burnt-out and suffering chronic pain. And I was only in my late 20’s! Through my journey to recovery, I became aware how many of my friends and colleagues were feeling the same and I also uncovered a passion for all things neuroscience and mindfulness. It became obvious to me that the way many of us are living and working is not sustainable for our health and happiness. I went on to study and launched a company called Mind Bright.

When we are stressed, overwhelmed and anxious it is impossible for the brain to ‘just think positive’ and see the silver lining. My work helps people learn fast, effective techniques to help feel the brain feel safe, and then feelings of happiness, joy and peace will happen naturally. So, it’s less about forcing yourself to have a positive mindset, and more about creating the environment for the brain and body in which a healthy mindset can naturally occur.

For me it is simply paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgement. And applying kindness and non-judgement to whatever I notice, without trying to change it.

Mindfulness is not so much another skill to learn or thing to add to my to-do list, but a different way of being.

Mindfulness encourages us to live in the present moment, something that doesn’t come naturally to many of us in our busy, digitally connected lives. When you think about it, it’s pleasant to feel the shower running on your back, the sun on your skin, to hear the sound of the birds or the ocean….rather than mentally going over your to-do list. But many of us fail to notice life’s simple pleasures. Being in the present moment stops us from ruminating about the past and worrying about the future, and allows us to show up more fully for our lives.

Another way mindfulness can add to our happiness and stop us from tipping into depression or anxiety, is it trains our minds to be more aware of our thoughts. It helps us to question the less helpful ones objectively or accept them as ‘just thoughts’, rather than getting caught up in believing everything that our monkey minds come up with.

Studies have also shown that regular mindful meditation over a period of approximately weeks, actually shrinks the size of the amygdala – the part of our brain responsible for the ‘fight or flight’ response. The smaller the amygdala is, the less stress, fear and anxiety we experience and the more space we have for calm, peace and joy in our lives.

As with most of us, there have been some very challenging hurdles in my life…. In my teens, I grew up with a Dad with Bipolar (especially tough in the 90’s, when very little was known about it and it was taboo to talk about mental health). In my 20’s I had major spinal surgery, five years of chronic pain and subsequent anxiety and burnout. In my 30’s, three miscarriages in a row and then IVF, which saw some of my hardest, grief filled days. I’m grateful that by then I had my mindfulness practice, which helped me get through with acceptance, self-compassion and gratitude for what I did have.

What's your morning routine? How Before kids, I used to have a much more elaborate morning routine, but now I try to keep it to three grounding practices. Firstly, I meditate as soon as I wake, if that is not possible because the kids wake us up first, just 10 slow, mindful belly breaths. Next, I try and incorporate some mindful movement – either a quick online yoga class or a walk on the beach or in the bush. Finally, I always take a pause in the shower to think about three things I’m grateful for. I find this little routine really gives me a great start to the day, mentally and physically and also gives me some sense of control and achievement before the busy-ness of the day unfolds!

Three really simple, yet powerful practices that are achievable for everyone are, 1) designated time off your phones, to give our busy brains time to unwind, 2) time outside, nature is very calming for the nervous system 3) movement, to burn off any excess stress hormones.

My youngest is only three months old and I didn’t work at all during the fourth trimester, as I really wanted to be present and soak up those precious newborn snuggles! Now I’m working a little bit and my biggest challenge is learning to say no and also having foresight about how much I can realistically manage. I’ve already tried to do it a bit and it’s quickly become very stressful, so I’m paring it back to the absolute essentials. Now when I do work, my number one strategy is when I’m working I’m working and when I’m with my daughters I’m 100% present, not trying to sneak in a bit of work or checking my phone. I found the more I tried to multi-task and switch between roles, the more stressed I felt, so now I just keep it really simple. One thing at a time.

I love Arianna Huffington; her book Thrive really resonated with me. I related a lot of her journey and I love her mission to challenge our thinking about what it truly means to be successful in the modern business world.

Thinking we need to be superwoman! Trying to be everything to everyone – perfect mothers, amazing friends, loving partners and successful in our careers. Oh, and also having a perfectly tidy, fashionable, Instagram-able house!

There is such huge pressure on women these days to do the jobs that their mothers and grandmothers did (running the family and household) and the jobs of their fathers and grandfathers (building a career and earning money). It is too much, especially when many of us don’t have the villages that we are supposed to, with family to support us, when raising a young family. I think this means we need to get far more discerning with our time and decrease our expectations of what is possible, so we are not striving for perfection whilst crumbling under the pressure.